Self actualising

It has been a long day. Here I am once again typing away. One assumption readers can make about my writings is that they are written alone. Another assumption is that they are written in private. They are conceived from a personal space from within, while gathered from the experiences from the external world. It is simply another form of mediation.

In the past, I have made numerous attempts to answer why I have chosen to consume in this act from time to time. The conclusions I have came to were merely to produce and confirm history, because writing gave the past a solid form. It reassures me that my experiences were real, and helps me to make sense of the world. But at the same time, it abstracts the incessancy of life experience into chapters and – just like Fox News – it sensationalises the experience into a story. Bits were lost and bits were assumed to make the linkages. What is on the surface of the page is merely the problem, but more importantly a reconstruction of the truth has been reinforced to the memory.

Where now, does it leave our true human instincts? Where now, does it leave our native intuitions? To what accuracy do they stand? Feels like the western media have been eating us alive down to our inner cores. Nevertheless, everything has two sides. On one hand convention is distinguished from nature. On the hand, convention is a part of nature as nature results it, absorbs it, and rectifies it.

I now ask myself once again: what is it that is keeping me here?

Scientist explains with chemicals. In intense states of emotions such as child birth, near death, deep meditation, prays, extreme sports and passionate sex, the pineal gland from the brain releases what is called DMT. It seems to only appear when we truly let go of ourselves to the activity. The raw nature of the scenario gives us a sort of closeness to life.

I guess the activities that bring us to the state are not limited to the activities described above. Music lovers bare their soul to the creation of music, while painters let go of all else in the creation of their art. For me, I find my most raw moments in writing.