Take it for granted

We have all done it somewhere in our life time. It is simply too easy that it draws upon great difficulty and strength not to take it for granted. Here is my story.

When my mum came into my room after another dispute between herself and my grandmother, an irritation rose within me. I shouted at her, it was her own fault. She cried and left. It was not okay. She was not okay. Given a few weeks ago she was there for me, when I was losing self-esteem over a uni assignment. It meant the world to me. Why can’t I do the same for her?

I could have called her back and apologised for my behaviour. I did not because I was a coward. It took strength to confront. It took strength to apologise. It took strength to behave in an unusual manner. All this strength took place because she was the victim, and I was not. For that reason, I judge my own weakness, I morally failed myself.

If given another chance can I be a better person next time?

She once told me, there are two types of people in the world: a) People who place family before anyone else; and b) People who take a laid back approach towards family just because they are family. I am unarguably belonging to latter group. I take it for granted when my family is too nice. Though, it would not be much of a problem if they had the same approach.

I am not quite sure how I was taught, but it just seems that they will always be there no matter what. There is a temper that no one sees, exclusively reserved for those I unconditionally trust. Is this fair? It is because they have secured me a bit too well? I never felt the threat that one day I will not be loved. Maybe this is one of the significance of an only child with married parents. The love that is received is so secure and unchallenged and un-competed against.