Expectations and greed

iIn life we often find ourselves with expectations. They are not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes they are just a sign telling us we have lived long enough to make the link between means to an end. But sometimes these expectations go beyond what we expect of ourselves. We begin to gather expectations from the environment around us. Now, that is dangerous, my friend.

For someone who we sincerely open up our souls to, we expect them to be there in our worst of times. Or at least to care about our problems. When the world doesn’t give a shit, we hope that they can understand.

These expectations grow upon us like a virus. In times, I wonder to myself: Is it because we are so desperately reaching out, or is it because they have gone over broad feeding us signs that they care?

Perhaps it is wishful thinking in the ‘back of our heads’, that we want them to care, we hope that they care. As a result we dreamt it up that they do care. But reality never made it.

Or could it be greed? Are we asking for too much?

I have learnt to let go. I have learnt to have less of these ‘attachments’. I tried to give without having to take. I took the lessons from ‘Brave New World’; I made up my own world, its key principle being: To give endlessly without expecting for return. I tried pushing myself to the very edge from the centre of the universe. Did it work? Was greed ever filtered out from me? It is almost as if I have locked myself up underneath what is the so-called human flesh. With every drop of warmth I felt from the humanity, their generosity overwhelmed me and I hoped to connect with those I think I can trust. Do you see what has happened? I ended up with even more concentrated 'attachments' and greater expectations.