A Greedy Sort of Ache

I looked him in the eyes, all I managed to say was “nothing”. “Nothing,” I repeated unconvincingly before I burst into tears.

“You can tell me if something is wrong,” he persisted, “we are still friends.”

He, who once told me that he couldn’t live without me, has just made me feel like a friend. It was I, who taught him with full confidence that life goes on, without a second thought that I would need him like this.

All I wanted in that moment was my place back. All those times, he would make me believe that I sat on the top of the world with a throne on my head and I had his undivided attention.

I didn’t want to tell him to come back when I had doubts, but it pains to know that time will tick us further apart.

He went on to tell me that he must have a child before he leaves this world. Once upon a time, he told that he didn’t care about anything else as long as I was happy. If it meant not having children, he was willing to accept.

I knew I have lost my place. There are other priorities in his life now. Every action there is a reaction. Even if we were to return to what we were, I have caused too much drama for us to have what we had.