Christmas Eve 2013, my grandma had her forth stroke. The next day, doctor pulled my parents aside and advised if there is no improvement in the next 24-48hrs, they will give up all medications – no drips, no anti-biotic, all her usual medications will be cut off. Then, what we feared happened. My grandma’s only defence was her own immune system, and the little food she is willing to eat. There she lied fulfilling the criteria to palliative care.
They said she is in pain and there is no quality to her life. The best thing for her will be to prioritise her immediate happiness, and cut off anything that is aimed at prolonging her life.
As much as I wanted to believe she is the exception to what doctors say and that she will recover before our eyes, it does not help when she actively refuses to eat. I am witnessing her energy level ceasing by the day. Does she know? Has she given up? Has she lost the patience? Has she lost the tolerance? Does she care anymore?
Suddenly the fight becomes clear to me. We can choose to fight or let go. It takes strength to have faith in your fate, to stand up to disbelief, and to be selfless before the ones you love.
If she has given up, I do not blame her. If she has lost patience, I understand her. If she is here to serve her immediate happiness, I respect her decision.
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