Too often we attend to places, face the world with fixed ideas in our heads.
Grandma was on a bed with heart rate fluctuating between 110/min to 150/min. She made sounds, but barely made a word. Her right side has been paralysed.
I knew she had a stroke before I arrived at the hospital. Whether she makes it or not, we can only leave it to fate. I accept the fact that she may not make it this time. I can only imagine her pain is not death itself (or is it?), but to be struggling before the ones she care for the most in life. Her face was expressionless, except for her eyes.
We both share an extreme form of stubbornness that gives no mercy once we have made our minds. Never ever, ever, ever should there be a day under the sun where we depend on someone else. There we were her pride has been diminished so much that it was visible to the eye. She did not want to be the reason we ran to the hospital for. She did not want to be a burden in our lives. Maybe it is a pain no one else will understand.
In the six days that went by, I smile like nothing is wrong. It breaks my heart to see her ashamed. It there anything I can do better? Should I take a day off work to sit next to her because I may never have the chance again? At what point in time, does one start acting on an assumption?
No comments:
Post a Comment