Mass produced citizens

Maybe, I had it all wrong. The freedom of expression and individuality that they taught us at schools were to be heard but not to be seen. A full time working life was never meant to be anything more than going in and out of work. Maybe it is part of the social structure that the middle class and lower class are not meant to have time for individual thoughts and personal space away from the economical drive.

It was winter 2011, when I graduated from my bachelor degree. Little idea I had about which direction I wish to pursue my career, I was greatly relieved to say goodbye to assignment deadlines and sleepless nights of reading miniature fonts (in other words, environmentally friendly print outs). A few weeks after I completed my last examination, I landed with my first full time job at a call centre with the state government. It was a laid back and cheerful work environment, 9 to 5, give or take 5minutes on either ends.

After about half a year, I moved into real estate. With close to no life experience, I learnt to juggle time and manage relationships. At the time, it was the worst job I have ever had. The hours were long, the pay was uncompetitive, I gave 100%. Now that I look back, it was the best job I could have had at the time. It exposed me to the world, giving me the opportunity to build life skills that I would not grasped in such a short time otherwise. Most of all, it taught me to have persistence and appreciated what others do for me.

I typed up my resignation letter after less than half a year, because I felt exploited due to the hours, the pay, and lack of recognition for my work. My boss and I sat down at a café close by and I burst into tears in public. She told me that she was grateful to have me on board and offered me the chance to stay (as a Receptionist, as a Sales Consultant) or return in 6 months time as an Asset Manager. I decided to go; because I believe the possibility of being successful in whatever I do will always exist. Whether I chose to stay or leave, the possibility of being un/happy will always exist. Sometimes it is simply a matter of choice and attitude. I laid down my cards on having a change.

Here I am, back to government in a different position, is it all that different? I still worry about having work the next day, when I go out after work. Deadlines, criticisms, personal sacrifices… all still exist. Pay is slightly; however work is no longer as exciting. I guess we win some; we lose some (in my previous boss’s words).

I think at each stage of our lives, there is only so much we are meant to have.