Well, what is it going to be? Him or me?
Do I love him? Do I? Would I give up on everything I have to have him? Would I sacrifice my joy for philosophy, the satisfaction in my writing, and my enthusiasm in reasoning just for… what? My whole background, my history, the language that constructs my thoughts, the culture, everything I perceived I trusted and trust so much that I make the exception to influence my decisions… every drop of my essence which built me up to now, is it all coming to an end because of him? What if, I chose him over all else? To be with him forever, make him the constant of my days… I know I can’t. I don’t know why, why I can’t even mentally put myself into the position as if even that might be a risk.
What is he not? Can he not last me a lifetime?
Would I stand by him? Would he stand by me?
His smile, his choice of words… what wouldn’t I give? The truth is: there is just so much I wouldn’t give.
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